


I Fake-Love You

by AgapantoBlu



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Akashi and Momoi mock the world, I'll probably continue this, fake marriage au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-27
Updated: 2016-07-03
Packaged: 2018-07-18 13:37:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7317385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AgapantoBlu/pseuds/AgapantoBlu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The FakeMarriage!Au where they don’t fall in love but are stupidly supportive of each other’s gay/lesbian crushes and they have fun embarrassing rich important people.</p><p>Aka: I’m so weak to AkaMomo BROTP. (AkaKuro and AoKise if you squint.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I Fake-Love You (Pt.1)

 

 

**_I Fake-Love You (Pt.1)_ **

 

The Prime Minister’s eyes were running right and left, desperate to meet some others, to find pity, a pure soul to save him from his torture but found nothing. The people all around him were stiff, clearly aware of what was happening to him, but none dared to turn, none even attempted sending help. They just abandoned him there, like a sinking ship.

To be a party full of supporters of his, he found quite little support, indeed.

Finally, for god’s mercy, the couple in front of him  _stopped_.

Akashi Seijuro, young genius of the financial world, richest man in Japan at the tender age of twenty-six, bright bloody red hair and hypnotizing scarlet eyes, straightened up taking his tongue out of the throat of his gorgeous wife, Momoi Satsuki, voluptuous goddess of unveiled secrets and collected datas, with her pink hair collected in a thigh chignon on her nape that allowed only a couple of strands to frame her cute face and her big pink eyes.

They both smiled at him as if nothing had ever happened, dressed in black elegant matching clothes -a long empire-styled dress for her and a suit with red handkerchief in the chest pocket for him -. She was all pressed against his side, her abundant chest digging in his ribcage, and he had an arm possessively around her bare shoulders, caressing the skin with his fingertips.

“Now,” Akashi said in his usual velvet voice, as if completely unaware -  _impossible_ \- of the discomfort of the whole room, “where were we?”

***

“Did you-… Did you see…his face…!”

Akashi smirked, pouring another champagne glass that he promptly offered the girl sitting beside him in the luxurious limousine. Momoi had some troubles drinking through her giggles but he took that time to get a glass for himself.

“I’d dare to say,-” he commented casually, “- that his skin would match my hair perfectly.”

“Now,  _that-_ ” Momoi pointed at him, immediately sobering up and with a scolding expression, “-was plain creepy.”

“But true.”

“Not the point.”

They stared at each other some more, the filled glasses in their hands. Pink mirrored in red and suddenly they both thought about the way he had came up to her from behind when the Prime Minister had praised her beauty, how he had grabbed her waist and spun her just enough to show the man the perfect profile sight of the deep, hot, passionate, French kiss they shared in the middle of the most important political gala of the year.

And Momoi started laughing again. Akashi looked so smug it would probably take little more to have devil horns growing from his head.

“His wife-… Did you see her?!”

“Her expression was nothing if compared to the leader of the opposition’s wife’s. As expected from such a traditionalist old la-”

“Hag.” Momoi pouted, but only for a second before grinning again, all slumped against the back of her seat in a way that would have made the mistress of etiquette of the Akashi family have a stroke. “That woman would not shut up about kids the whole time! Who does she think she is? I’d let her know I took care of six overgrown kids since when I was twelve, I deserve a break now!”

Akashi chuckled this time, accepting the girl’s amused rant, and he lifted his glass to drink a bit. Momoi looked at him, pensive.

She smiled gently as she outstretched a hand to loosen up his necktie and Akashi allowed himself to relax a bit, he too slumping with his side against the backrest of the leather seat - not as much as her, though; he was almost sure her bottom wasn’t even on the seat anymore -.

“Do you want to get off at Tetsu-kun’s place?” Seijuro tried to roll his eyes, but Momoi’s were too bright and knowing, accomplices of his secret, and he smiled at her even as he shook his head.

“Tetsuya has work early in the morning, tomorrow. He forbade me from waking him up at ‘some ungodly hour in the morning’.” He shook his head fondly before leaning a bit forward. Momoi immediately rose to meet their foreheads. “He told me to wish you to have fun. Apparently he, too, is aware of your amusement for these social events?”

“Ki-chan, Tetsu-kun and I will never let the Ministry of Defense alone after that terrifying misstep with the newly divorced American Ambassador,” she admitted, clearly not remorseful in the slightest.

Akashi had to admit he found that part of her quite endearing.

“What about you?” he asked then, placing his empty glass back down and picking hers too, “Do you have anywhere you’d like me to let you at?”

“I would tell you if I have a new lover, Sei-chan, no need to be jealous.” she teased.

“Not spending the night at Daiki and Ryouta’s?” he teased back - but meaning it a bit-, “You usually crave to share all the details as soon as possible.”

Akashi knew something had been wrong with Momoi the whole night. She had been a bit stiff before they got to the gala. She had loosened up, but after a bit more wine than usual. Not that it mattered, Akashi had her in his radar permanently.

“I got into a fight with Dai-chan,” she admitted, half-grimacing and half-pouting at the seat in front of hers, “I’m not in the mood to see him.”

“I see.” Akashi most certainly did not roll his eyes. Instead, he bent forward again to lay his forehead against Momoi’s temple. His back hurt in that position, but it was worth it when she turned to press hers back. With the passing years, that had become their intimacy thing, something like a habit or the substitute of a kiss. “Want to go home together for once? Blankets, hot-chocolate and I’ll let you pick the film.”

“Does the footage of our marriage count?” she answered back immediately, but smiling softly now, grateful.

“Nijimura-san’s face when he realized who was the bride is truly a masterpiece of cinematography,” he said with a smirk. “It’s settled then. Everything for my lovely wife.”

Momoi did dare to roll her eyes at him.

“Oh my, thank you, my dearest husband!” This time, when she laughed, Akashi followed her. “Pray tell me,  _darling_ ,-” she asked when they both calmed down, while brushing her nose against his, “-when we first met, would you have expected this to happen?”

Akashi arched a brow at her, but smirked.

“After seeing Tetsuya for the first time, I  _knew_  I would end up in his pants, sooner or later.”

“ _You cheater!_ ” Seijuro laughed, because her accusation would have been far more believable had she not been giggling the whole time. “How can you tell something like this straight to your wife’s face? I demand a divorce!”

“Go ahead, but I’ll have to take the champagne and the pool.”

“I’m divorcing you, not our house. That’s for me and our children to live in, didn’t you read the clauses in our pre-marriage contract?”

“We most definitely never had sex, Satsuki, my most adored  _lesbian_  wife,-” Seijuro pointed out with a smirk, “-so we definitely never had children.”

“I beg to differ,-” Momoi assured swinging a pointing finger in front of his nose, “but it’s all right. I’ll let you keep the house if you take in Dai-chan and Midorin.”

“Feel free to keep Ryouta, but I’m most definitely not allowing Daiki in my house _ever again_ , after the nachos episode. And I’m not letting you take Tetsuya, you’ll have to walk on my dead body.”

Momoi pretended to think about it for a second.

“Too risky,-” she deliberated in the end with a frown, “-they alway suspect the wife when a rich man dies. Well, if you take Tetsu-kun in, you cannot fuck him anymore: he’d be your son, it’s incest.”

“You’re so sly, Satsuki.” That note in Akashi’s voice was respect, Momoi had learnt to discern it, and she pulled herself up a bit more to cuddle against him.

His arms immediately circled her and she smiled at the warmth.

“And that’s why you fake-married me, Sei-chan.”

“Absolutely not, that's because I fake-love you, Satsuki.”

“Oh, shut up, you cynical bastard! I fake-love you too.”


	2. I Fake-Love You (Pt.2)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because one chapter was not enough.

 

_**I Fake-Love You (Pt.2)** _

 

Akashi should have seen this coming, and he felt a pang of disappointment for not preventing the whole situation from happening.  
  
(A little part of him, one that's more honest, was willing to admit he did see it coming and let it happen anyway. For comic relief.)  
  
The lady in front of him was an old acquaintance he would have happily lived without, the daughter of one of his father's underlings. The ambitious man had more than once tried to get Seijuro to fall for her, and Masaomi had silently approved of the union, and now she seemed to be still set on that goal despite the ring at Seijuro's finger.  
  
 _Such little class_ , he thought, sipping on his wine to free his arm from her touch -definitely too intimate and undeserved-, _and self-respect._  
  
What was she thinking? Even in the impossible scenery in which Seijuro fell for her, she would never be anything but the mistress, a dirty secret she couldn't brag about at all, because a divorce was far too much of a scandal for the Akashi family - it would mean say that they had failed at something, choosing and keeping their lover, and that was unacceptable-. She would always be second place after Satsuki and Akashi knew his wife had a knack for reminding her that.  
  
Thus, as soon as he felt a light but clearly deliberated tug on his sleeve and the wine spilled all over his shirt, his eyes didn't bother with the people around him and shot up to find the only pink haired woman in the whole ball room.  
  
Satsuki was an analyst, the best Akashi had ever had the pleasure of finding, even better than all the ones working for his father - which was why they had all been _relocated_  and their duties had been passed onto her in one of the most successful choices of the whole financial world-. He knew, with no doubt whatsoever, that she had had her eyes on them since the very first moment the other girl had approached.  
  
"Oh my, what a disaster, Sei-chan!"  
  
Akashi didn't as much as blink at the voice from behind him, but he savored the way the lady beside him jerked and then froze, a terrified expression flashing for a moment on her face.  
  
He strived not to smirk.  
  
When he turned, Satsuki was approaching them in all her greatness. Gorgeous with her hair elegantly combed on her nape, a precious hairpin with pink topazes showing by the side of her head, and her curvy body wrapped up perfectly in a pink dress that left her shoulders bare and covered her arms loosely before closing on the thin wrists, the skirt falling on the floor royally. Everybody in the room could see who was in charge just by the way she was posing herself, a queen among peasants.  
  
Akashi was everyday more satisfied of the results of his fake marriage: as expected, Momoi was the best for the job.  
  
As she approached them, the other girl seemed to try to make herself littler by every second, and Seijuro could finally breath without her perfume suffocating him. He sent Satsuki a grateful look but frowned when she didn't return it.  
  
She looked pensive and that could only end up one way: someone was going down. Hard.  
  
"Look at your shirt," Momoi sighed, caressing his chest on the wet stain and not sparing a glance at the culprit of such a stunt, as if she didn't exist. "You need to get changed immediately. Nakamoto-san will be here soon with the contract to sign and you cannot present yourself like this." He nodded, laying his now empty glass on the tray of one nervous waiter that had just approached them, but before he could answer, Satsuki added, to everybody else's benefit: "If you'll excuse us..."  
  
Seijuro knew better than letting their little front appear as anything but perfectly compact and in love, so he allowed his wife to pull him toward a side room of the main one they were in and to order a maid for a spare shirt.  
  
As soon as the door behind them closed, though, muffling the voices and soft music, he arched a brow.  
  
"Don't try the disappointed-mom-look on me, Sei-chan, it doesn't work," Satsuki joked with a bright smile before showing him her back and turning to look around.  
  
They were in a spare study, with the usual desk, a coffee table, a little bookshelf and a drawer, all empty but covered in porcelains or silvery. There was nothing Momoi could be interested in and that worried Akashi quite a bit.  
  
Momoi kept her silent thinking for all the time it took a maid to bring in a spare shirt from another door, then she collected it and sent the girl away with a sweet smile before almost slamming the door in her face.  
  
Almost all the servants still reported to Masaomi about his son's wed life, and Seijuro's eyes widened, a smirk on his lips, as he realized what Momoi was blatantly implying.  
  
When Momoi turned and saw his expression -like a cat who had just eaten a bird-, she smirked too.  
  
"You think I wouldn't dare?" she asked, challenging, and Akashi laughed a bit.  
  
It came so easy, now, to relax completely around Satsuki.  
  
"Oh, quite the opposite," he assured, completely honest. "I _know_ you will dare. I'm just curious as how far we're  going to go."  
  
A michevious glint in her eyes let him know it was far.  
  
He was so in whatever that was.  
  
"Then tell me, Sei-chan,-" she teased, coming closer and allowimg herself a kiss on his nosetip, "-how long would you need?"

 

***

  
  
It had been just a coincidence, the majority of people in the room had thought.   
  
They were doing it on purpose, a handful of close friends - like Kise laughing on his agent's shoulder and a smirking Himuro and Nijimura with the mark of his own palm perfectly shaped in red on his forehead - knew.  
  
The very moment the music stopped to switch from a song to the other, the sound of porcelains shattering and a loud female voice filled the little silence.  
  
"OH GOD, SEIJURO, YES!"

 

***

 

Akashi briefly considered stuffing his face in a pillow at Momoi's pose, a hand theatrically on her chest and the back of the other on her forehead, leaning against the door that lead to the ballroom, but he decided against that.  
  
Instead, he sent another set of his grand-grand-father's horrible little statues to smash on the floor with a grunt as the girl with him faked a loud moan.  
  
Momoi was looking at him in excitement, her eyes as big as if she was high, and honestly he felt it too. The mere thought of the people in the other room desperately trying to focus on the music but inevitably drawn by the sounds of their little show was inebriating.  
  
"I'm stuffing the fridge with Häagen-Dazs tomorrow," he promised approaching and trapping her between his arms, making sure to slam his palms on the door strongly enough to make it tremble a bit.

"You sure know how to make a woman happy, darling,-" she mockely retort, stifling a giggle, "-but that's the plan, after all."  
  
She slipped under his arm and ran to the coffee table, sitting on it heavily and letting herself fall backward to lay on it, ignoring all the things she broke and let fall on the floor in the process. Akashi watched with a hand on his mouth as she got up again just to grab the furniture edge and start moving it from side to site, causing the sound of trembling wood. She moaned again.  
  
Seijuro approached her from behind and laid his hand on her back, up on the spine, to bring his face close to her ear.  
  
"If we were a couple for real, I would never lay you on such an uncomfortable surface," he whispered.   
  
"YES, SEIJURO, RIGHT THERE!"  
  
She sent him an exasperated look as soon as she was done screaming, accellerating her movements, and shook her head.  
  
"I know Tetsu-kun never has complaints about your manners during sex," she assured. "In fact, you're such a gentleman it's quite boring."  
  
 _Boring?!_  
  
The horrified expression on Seijuro's face was hard to resist, but Momoi managed not to laugh, much to her pride. She turned to sit on the table and screamed again -"SEIJURO, OH, SEIJURO!"- while he snapped out of his rêverie to grab at her shoulders.  
  
"Tetsuya told you that?" he hissed, clearly displeased and she chuckled a bit, before grabbing his necktie and loosening it while pulling him closer.  
  
"Come on, Sei-chan," she grinned now, "Show us both you can be rough and wild."

  
  
***

  
  
Kuroko blinked, under Kise's laughing frame, when Seijuro's voice joined Satsuki's.  
  
He refused to let it show that the low feral growl he heard was turning him on. God, Seijuro was always so silent and refrained during sex; if he were to call his name like he was calling Momoi's he wouldn't mind knowing he was faking it.  
  
"Akashicchi could be a sex-line worker," Ryouta stated in marvel, "A voice like that could make a rock come."  
  
Kuroko agreed completely, but still jabbed him in the ribs.

 

***

 

Momoi gaped for a moment at the sexiness exuding from Seijuro's voice as he growled-yelled "SATSUKI!" beside her face, after having lifted her by the mere waist and brought her against the wall beside the entrance door. She had her legs around his hips and it would have been embarrassing with anybody else but her gay husband. Like that, it was only amusing, but she was fast in recovering and smirking.  
  
"YES, SEIJURO, I'M ALL YOURS!"  
  
The show of Akashi claiming loudly "MINE!" while rolling his eyes was too funny for her to resist and she hid her face against his shoulder to laugh in his wine-stained shirt.  
  
The music outside the door lowered in volume for a moment and Akashi took the moment to say, not exactly yelling but not in a murmur either: "Come for me, Satsuki."  
  
Momoi couldn't help herself. She threw her head backward and faked an orgasm.

  
  
***

  
  
Kuroko watched with satisfaction Masaomi leaving the party early.  
  
Kise and Himuro high-fived secretly while Nijimura gulped down an whole glass of wine muttering about being too old for hanging out with the brats.  
  
Not too long after, the door of the room everybody had been focused on opened.

  
  
***

  
  
Akashi changed his shirt rapidly and let Satsuki mess with his necktie a bit, so that he could fix it once back in the room. In exchange, he crooked one of her sleeves and helped her taking the hairpin out without hurting herself.  
  
"Three hours of combing wasted," she pouted, looking at the jewel, but then she sighed. "Well, it was worth it."  
  
"Want me to help putting it on again?", Akashi asked, but she shook her head.  
  
"What kind of wild lover are you if you can't even mess my hair a bit?" she scolded playfully. "You really are boring, Sei-chan!"  
  
He sent her the dirtiest and most murderous glare he could, but she just skipped happily to the door. He resolved to clarify the matter with Tetsuya in person. As soon as possible.  
  
As he approached the door, though, Momoi turned to smirk at him.  
  
"Just a tip,-" she whispered conspiratorially, "-if you call Tetsu-kun's name the way you called mine, I bet he'll give you head twice in a row."  
  
While normally annoyed and possibly scandalized at Momoi's straightforwardness -a trait she had discovered and ampliated with the years-, this time Seijuro simply frowned.  
  
"Tetsuya doesn't like giving head," he stated, confused because he knew very well that his lover and his wife shared far too many intimate informations.  
  
Momoi's eyes twinkled. "I know."

  
  
***

  
  
Momoi exited the room as she felt Akashi's hand plateally fixing her bra in front of everyone and she had to refrain herself from bursting out in giggles.  
  
She pretended to scan the room casually, but focused on Tetsuya, who lifted his glass at her in a discrete motion, reassuring her that he was okay -and judging by the way his lips were slightly lifted in a smirk, breaking the usual mask, probably even amused at his lover's antic-. Once she was confident she hadn't started a domestic quarrel, she searched for another pair of eyes.  
  
She found the widened, horrified, embarrassed irises of the _idiotic bitch_  who had tried to snatch her husband away. She made sure to smile the most sweetly she could, looking all but threatening, because she had no reason to be so.  
  
There was nothing worth threatening, after all.  
  
When the girl hastily turned and almost ran to her dear daddy to hide behind him, Momoi knew she had won and finally relaxed.  
  
In all her life, she had only been competitive when it came to basketball, and only in a passive-aggressive kind of way. She didn't like conflict, she preferred competition to end with smiles and friendship, but things had become different now.  
  
 _Akashi_  was her friend, not that girl, and he was a friend whom she had married.  
  
And marrying the Emperor had made her an Emperess, a role that required from her a certain attitude, strong enough to match the one of her husband but soft enough to loosen the edges of his scary strength.  
  
She looked at Akashi, visibly more relaxed now that his father was nowhere to be seen, and Kuroko watching over him from the sidelines; Kise chatting excitedly with everybody but with his phone in his hand every ten minutes because Daiki was on night duty and he was anxious about that; Himuro smiling at the other two miracles looking handsome with his cold smile and inapproachable, mainly because of how Nijimura was hovering on him from behind with a hand firmly on his boyfriend's waist and a scowl on his face for whoever dared to approach them. Midorima had bailed out of the event with the excuse of a shift at the hospital, but both she and Seijuro knew he was allergic to social gathering and more interested in eating Kazunari, now that the man was back from his month of teaching abroad in a special Japanese course; and Murasakibara had simply said he didn't want to come to an event where food would be served in the size of one of his fingers.  
  
 _"It's obviously not a problem for us,"_  Seijuro had said placidly, not fooling her in the slightest. _"If anything, it may turn out to be a problem for those two in the long run."_  
  
She picked a glass of wine for herself as she approached a group of ladies from which she knew she could get some juicy information about a deal between two of Akashi's concurrents, and a smile bloomed on her lips.  
  
Maybe not romantically, but she loved all those idots.

  
  
***

  
  
Akashi was sleeping peacefully as something heavy landed on his back, crushing him face first into his mattress.  
  
"Fuck!" he cursed before he could stop himself, eyes going wide, but he recognized the new person immediately from the laughter that filles his -pounding- head. "Dammit, Satsuki!"  
  
"How vulgar! Is this how you talk to your wife?"   
  
Akashi bothered to lift his head only to glare at her, still peacefully sprawled on him like he was her due pillow, arms crossed on his shoulderblades.  
  
"Satsuki, I just got home..." he groaned, letting his face fell on the blankets once more, but she didn't listen to him.  
  
"Ki-chan and I are going shopping today," she chirped happily, making him immediately stiffen in return. "I need your credit card~!"  
  
 _Thank God._  For an awful moment he thought she'd ask him to join them. He had spent the night at Tetsuya's place to rectify the apparent flaw in their sexual life and ended up leaving as soon as they were done, already in the morning, to avoid the risk of being caught spending the night at someone else's house. He had just managed to fall on his bed and asleep for no more than ten minutes when his adorable wife had decided to jump on him.  
  
His credit card seemed like a very little price in exchange of some bloody sleep.  
  
He reached in his backpocket and handed her his whole wallet without bothering.  
  
"Sometimes I feel like you married me only for my money," he joked in a sleepy sigh as Momoi picked what she needed and threw the rest on the mattress.  
  
"Because I did, Sei-chan," she chirped, ripping a chuckle out of him while brushing her head against his temple. "I'll be back...not that soon, I think!"  
  
Akashi barely groaned his assention and, _finally_ , she got up from him.  
  
"Nice dreams!"  
  
Akashi opened only one eye to look at her and grinned when she touched the handle of the door.  
  
"Oh, Satsuki?" he called nonchalantly.  
  
She turned, surprised, but still answered: "Yes?"  
  
"It appears that Tetsuya 'likes it rough'."  
  
"Oh my God!"  
  
Akashi smiled, listening to her laughter fading away in the long corridors of his house, then he huffed and rolled on his back to grab his phone from the nightstand.  
  
 _To: Tetsuya_  
 _Text: Satsuki and Ryouta are out of commission for the day. Would you like to come over and spend some time together?_

 

***

  
  
_From: Tetsuya._   
_Text: I hope you don't mean cuddling, Seijuro. Now that you've set the bar so high, you must uphold my expectations._   
  
_To: Tetsuya_   
_Text: Have mercy, Tetsuya._   
  
_From: Tetsuya_   
_Text: I'll humbly accept the cuddles, then. I'll be there in a few minutes._

**Author's Note:**

> I will bring AkaMomo BROTP to the top of the fandom where it belongs.


End file.
